Self imposed pressure: Don't squander my time

Reminding myself to treasure time as a gift and value it instead

I feel such impatience to be doing something and not wasting these 17 days

A week ago, I wrote this in my journal. Mergatroid (my inner critic) has briefly popped in for a visit, to say her piece.

I was at the beginning of a 17-day house/pet sit gig. I’d planned for the first 5 days to be a “self-retreat” of sorts, to change gears after finishing full time work, to replenish energies and to declutter my brain. I made an intentional decision to let myself “be” for at least 5 days.

Now.
I was meeting resistance.
Here I was putting myself under pressure (all self-imposed) not to squander this time.

In fact, time is a gift

Oh time! An external, societal construct that just dominates our lives. Have you ever noticed the words we use to describe time?

We try to find it, fill it, use it wisely, save it, kill it, spend it. We rush, in case we run out of it. We make up for lost time. We are robbed of it. We complain that we never have enough of it. We use our diaries, calendars and to-do lists to plan how to fill our time.

And here I was angsting, and berating myself (low level but still berating) about squandering it (expend carelessly, extravagantly, or to no purpose) - another judgemental metaphor to add to the list.

But was it really squandering? No! Because I had planned to let myself and my brain be idle. Perhaps I could’ve found another word, that would’ve been less critical… less… I remind myself to treasure it as a gift (because it is) and value it instead.

I’m also conscious that I write about this type of reframing a lot, and often. But we constantly need to remind ourselves how how we are shifting things, right? (These a list of similar posts at the bottom of this letter!) Surely I am not the only one?

Pushing back against the busyness

Anne Wilson Schaef’s daily essays¹ for 11th and 14th August reinforced exactly what I was thinking, writing that we are “habituated to busyness”, we feel worthless if we aren’t busy, we panic when we have time that hasn’t been planned to the nth degree.

Yet, here on Substack at least, people are beginning to push against this busyness. I’m adding my voice to this, and leaning into other ideas about slower time!

Today

Charlene Storey

wrote “the voice saying I have to do it all right now or it’ll be too late, is one I’m definitely keen to ignore”. In a similar vein, just the other day,

Brooke McAlary

wrote of shifting her relationship with time, to thinking about having more / enough time. “We stop hustling and instead spend our energy more intentionally. We stop multitasking and instead go about trying to do things one at a time.”

I’m always struck by how many words related to time, are also related to money: spending it, saving it, “time is money” - I suppose, the world we live in revolves around both, they are inextricably intertwined.

Appreciating time © Deborah Ann Stott 2018-2023

Doing what works for me

Like Brooke, I’ve been working on shifting my relationship with time for many years, trying lots of different techniques and changing the words I use to describe it. Its essential for my wellbeing and for living a slower life.

One way I’ve shifted, is to look at time as an investment resource not an expense resource (as Stephen Covey suggests). For me, this reframes time as having value, something I can use to my advantage in any way I want. I can use it to invest in my self, my dreams, my plans. I can use it in a way that works for me.

Is time a creative currency?

I was really taken with

Keeley Rees

‘s recent piece about creative currency: a set of 4 components that are needed for creative projects (creative dollars, emotional dollars, brave dollars, energy dollars), how they can be topped up and depleted (spent). “Knowing how our creative stores are going, (what are we rich in, what are we poor in) then empowers us to “budget” so to speak for our projects.”

Since I read her piece, I have been wondering of maybe time is a currency we could add to her set? Or maybe time is already part of each of the other accounts? What do you think?

And so, in the spirit of investing time in the way that works for me, I will:

• Stop and wonder why

• Let our brains be idle for a moment and see what happens

• Stop rushing and racing

Do any of those work for you? I hope you can find some time to do what works for you! Until next time, take care. I leave you with this fab quote from Terry Pratchett:

“People are often so busy living that they never stopped to wonder why.”

Take a Moodle through these related pieces

If you’re wondering what to look at next, have a moodle around these:

• Introduce yourself and your favourite way to moodle in this thread

• Read some of my micro-fiction

• Visit my profile to see my About page, my Notes, who I subscribe to and recommend

1. A little disclosure: there are affiliate links on this page! That just means if you click on a link, find something you like and buy it, I’ll make a small amount of cash from https://uk.bookshop.org/