Guided by the compass of our hearts for IWD

IWD - Daisy Chain Flower Crown - A special letter for International Women’s Day and a contribution to the Daisy Chain on Substack

Dearest Moodler

Happy International Women’s Day!

If you were expecting another fiction piece for Curious Questers, I’ll be bringing that out next week.

This special letter is for International Women’s Day and is a contribution to the Daisy Chain on Substack

I read about the invitation to contribute to an International Women’s Day Daisy Chain through Claire Venus where she,

Lauren Barber

and

Lyndsay Kaldor

shared this amazing idea.

Deep inside my belly, energy throbbed. My heart centre fluttered. The energy was dancing around with fists in the air “Yes. Yes. Do it Debs! Write something for this.” I listened. In this piece, I respond, somewhat obliquely to one of their prompts: “In a world where we are constantly pressured to ‘have it all’… how do you stay centred and connected to your self and what truly nourishes you?”

This piece is about finding our way. Although it might happen at different times for each of us, we all reach a point where we wonder if our current “map for life” is working, if we need to tweak it or start afresh. Guided by the compass of my heart, this letter tells some of my story of this “crisis” point and I hope it resonates with you.

An AI generated image

To all the brave, bold and daring women who continue to follow their own paths and blaze new trails, Happy International Women’s Day. Your journey is inspirational, magical and extraordinary.

“Trust your curiosity. Trust your interests. Trust the map and trust the mapmaker”
[Liz Gilbert]¹

Crisis points and map malfunctions

Scott Peck² wrote that we are not born with a map, we need to make them as we go through life. His view is that every day we are inundated with new information about reality. We have a choice: either continually revise our maps to incorporate this new information or ignore it. 

I’m pretty certain that instead of putting in the hard work to make and keep our own maps updated, many of us choose to borrow and use someone else’s map. It’s just easier that way. It’s what I’ve done most of my life.

In my youth, I had a feeling that there was a fixed map that I was meant to follow. But it was fuzzy. My mother, sisters, aunts, female cousins followed the maps that society had laid out for them - they got married, became mothers and stayed at home to look after the kids. Being almost 20 years younger than my sisters, I was of a different generation. So my map has always been a made-up-as-I-go-along kind because I didn’t seem to follow the ‘normal’ maps other people were following. As I grew into my twenties and thirties, I still felt a little bit “outside”. Other people had plans to run their own businesses, play in a band, make lots of money, have x number of children. To me, it looked like they were following a map telling them where to go. Perhaps they weren’t?

I’ve had many a map malfunction!
Following other people’s maps clearly never worked for me.

Then, when I became a parent I had a destination of sorts – a parental map guiding me to raise my child to adulthood. Time flew by and before I knew it, my child was a fully functioning adult; the destination had been reached. I faced the future and mid-life (my fifties) once again without a map. 

It seems I’ve tended to “fall” into most of my life experiences rather than living with intention, allowing other people or society to forge a map for me. At other times, I’ve let my Inner Critic make the map and heaven forbid, even navigate. In retrospect, that has been the worst possible thing to do, because she doesn’t actually want to go anywhere unknown – she likes the safe, known routes, the ones that she can control with absolute certainty.

Deep in my own midlife crisis, this question arose:
Would I allow myself to have another map malfunction?

A firm “No” emerged from the darkness

Somewhere, deep down a little voice was telling me it would be a massive mistake to look for someone else’s map to guide me through the next 20 to 30 years. That voice whispered “your journey through life is not the same as anyone else’s. No one else can chart it for you”.

So, five years ago, from one of the darkest places I’d ever been, I took a courageous step towards something fresh. I would create a vibrant, radiant map of my own. I would be the cartographer of my own life, committing to continually update my map as I lived my life, as actual cartographers do. I would finally allow myself to be guided by the compass of my heart.

The map hardly ever stays still

And oh my goodness, this new map hardly ever stays still or the same. It changes, frequently! As those of us who have embarked on a journey of personal growth know, it is never finished. Life changes. We change. The world changes.  

Here’s the thing that keeps me connected and nourishes my soul:

There is magic in crafting your own map

Which sounds rather thrilling and powerful!
But what are the realities of taking this path?

We need map making tools, of course

Living with awareness, noticing and paying attention to my lived experiences, the map unfolds intentionally rather than willy-nilly. Through daily writing and visual journaling I unearth the richness and detail of my life journey. These details become the design elements and embellishments for the map putting the map together.

A hand drawn digital map, celebrating the idea of a global daisy chain for an IWD that is not country, group or organisation specific ©Deb.Aura.Art

And what does the map look like?

It is a living, breathing thing, constantly changing.
I love the magic in the messiness of it.

• A destination (parenthood, promotion, a big house, a new car) is no longer important. Living and exploring is.

• The map is a true reflection of my life with all its ups and downs. 

• Parts of the map are richly illustrated and emblazoned in glorious detail and colour. Some are dark and messy, others are sketchy and vague; those bits that still need to be explored, experienced, reflected upon and filled in.

Does this nourish me?

Yes! I’m nourished in my gratitude that I’ve not had a map of my own for most of my life. It has made me brave, resilient and adaptable in ways I could never have imagined. I have gone where I have never been. 

There is no “there”, no specific destination to reach.
I’m nourished by my need to continue exploring.
To be a traveller in and through my own life.
On my path, that takes its own winding course.
I continue to walk boldly into the horizon, guided by the compass of my heart.

I’m nourished by the magic in crafting my own map
Are you, or will you begin to craft yours?

Isn’t it more exciting to take the twisty back roads, seeing the glorious, sun-soaked countryside rather than the direct route, planned by someone else?

Other things to explore

• If you’d like to know more about mapping your own life, do get in touch³ and we can talk

• Head to the Index Page to navigate around Of Mappery

• You can also visit my new Mappery Moodles website to find out more about what I do with maps!

• Fancy earning a paid subscription? By sharing this letter and by referring friends you’ll receive special benefits such as complementary paid subscriptions

1. In Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear

2. From Scott M Peck - The Road Less Travelled: “What happens when one has striven long and hard to develop a working view of the world, a seemingly useful, workable map, and then is confronted with new information suggesting that that view is wrong and the map needs to be largely redrawn? The painful effort required seems frightening, almost overwhelming. What we do more often than not, and usually unconsciously, is to ignore the new information”.

3. You can email me on debs.stott@mapperymoodles.me